How to have good 121s
Let’s say you buy my argument that managing matters, and that to do it well you need to spend time with the people that you manage, and be someone who helps them.
You might still wondering: What concretely should I do?
My answer is simple: Regular 121s.1
Spend 60 minutes together, every 2 weeks, with the following agenda:
Check-in: “How are you?” (What’s in the way of you engaging with your work? Can I help you?)
Input: “What do you need from me?” (Is there anything that we haven’thad time to talk about informally, where you can’t move forward without my input?)
Projects: “How is your work going?” (What are you stuck with? What things do you want space to talk about, reflect on, be heard, get advice?)
Career: “How can we keep you challenged?” (What are your long term goals and how are they being served by your work here?)
These questions are in priority order and you get through as many as you can. If the check-in needs to take the whole time slot, then that is the most valuable use of your time. That said, if you never get to the career discussion, then you need to revisit the level of support the person is getting (from you and from others) outside your 121s.
If you are thinking “60 minutes every 2 weeks? But that’s aaaaages!” - I’m afraid that’s the time cost of managing. You have to be prepared to pay it.
On the plus side, I do not know any CEOs who have started doing regular 121s and not found it a valuable use of their time. It’s not just that you help your team member, it benefits you. It puts you more in contact with what’s really going on in your team and the organisation, and it helps you clarify your thinking and way of explaining things.
It’s important to get into the habit of actually having these meetings - and not to be constantly cancelling or rearranging them. You want to make clear that your team members matter to you. Keeping your appointment shows that you care. You also want to show that, as an organisation, you value relationships. You think they are worth building, and then valuable insights can come from them - even if they cannot immediately or easily be measured. 121s are not just about the conversation that you have ‘in the room’, they are a way of encouraging people to talk, and to use conversations to solve problems.
Try this with your direct reports. It could be one of the most valuable ways you spend your working time this week2.
Although I’m never quite sure how to spell this - with letters or digits? Should there be punctuation?
If you still think it’s too much for you to manage, then try 45 minutes every 3 weeks. Half an hour is just not long enough to get into a really valuable conversation. If you drop down to once a month it becomes too much of a ‘special occasion’, and no longer sends the signals that you want it to.